Ghetto Red Hot and Freezing

The day began at Safeway in search of prunes for the kiddos. The near constant consumption of cheetos has plugged them up so good that BP is calling for advice. We then plugged the address of the first DDD stop into the GPS my Mother lent us and we were off to Flagstaff. I have come to realize that I have become part of an undocumented breed of travelers created by the exponential advancement in personal electronics. I probably shouldn't have said "undocumented" in Arizona, but you know what I mean. Before we leave each day I must set up the GPS device, turn on the bluetooth (not the kind that you stick in our ear like Uhura, but one that clips onto the visor like a garage door opener), hook up the IPod, and turn on the DVD for the kids. Every time we begin a trip, even to the local gas station, it takes 15 minutes just to get going. This is a breed that only people with older cars can be a part of. The newer cars have all of this built in, while the rest of us losers must buy thousands of gadgets specifically created to make those of us with older cars look like air traffic controllers every time we start the car.

There are two restaurants in Flagstaff that were highlighted on the Triple D; a Mexican place with a Caucasian cook and a regular diner in a strip mall called Brandy's. Knowing that Susan is a closeted Mexican food snob, I knew option number one was out of the question. Let me say that there is nothing wrong with being a food snob. I am a proud sushi snob. Every time I see someone order a spicy tuna crunch wrap a little part of me dies. However, as Brandy's Restaurant and Bakery is supposed to have quite a breakfast, I thought driving the 30 miles to Flagstaff from Williams for breakfast would be worth it. Even though it was a Thursday morning, I half expected to see a line out the door like at the Pantry in Downtown LA. There wasn't a line or even a wait. In fact there was a posted sign that politely asked us to seat ourselves. I also expected to see Guy Fieri pictures up all over the place. There was only one picture on the wall proclaiming that he had once been there.

Susan ordered 2 eggs and Canadian bacon and wondered what was so special about the place. Emeril Lagasse and Bobby Flay's love child couldn't make 2 eggs and Canadian bacon special so I wasn't all that disappointed. I ordered the steak and egg burrito that was a bit smaller than I expected, but was loaded with lots of cheese and lots of meat. Large amounts of meat and cheese make most things worth it so I was generally happy. Despite this, I wasn't blown away by the place and wouldn't go out of my way to go there again, but we did walk away with something memorable. Our waitress had the biggest guns I've ever seen on a woman! I found it hard not to stare at her tribal tattoos encircling her arms that must have had the diameter of my thighs. Susan told me they put me to shame, but being confident in my Red Dead Redemption and Final Fantasy skills I could not be put to shame by a pair of guns on a female waitress in Flagstaff. Even so, I gave her a big tip to avoid being pummeled on the way out.

After breakfast we set off on the second leg of our journey toward Albuquerque. The Northwestern part of Arizona that leads into New Mexico is really not much to speak of. We did pass a meteor site that had we not just seen the holiest of holes the day before I might have been interested in. I figure once you have seen the most beautiful hole ever created, there just aren't any other holes that can even begin to interest me (insert vulgar punchline here). I also wanted to get a picture of this billboard that read, "The Best Vote for America: McCain/ Palin," but I was too busy wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes to pull the camera out. I don't even think McCain believed that.



After the steak and egg burrito I started really craving a sweet tea from McDonald's. For some reason I can't get enough of the stuff. Of course after salivating and obsessing over having the taste in my mouth for nearly 60 miles, the McDonald's in Gallup, New Mexico doesn't even offer it. This could have sent me into a cranky family depressing rage, but on the way out we witnessed some local culture. Now let me preface this story by stating that what this country has done to the Native Americans cannot be forgotten. Native Americans are a proud and diverse people who had their land and way of life stripped from them. Apparently Gallup is a product of this imperialistic take over because it resembles South LA if South LA was packed with Native Americans. In the 10 short minutes we stopped at the McDonald's in Gallup, a cop harassed a homeless guy, and a woman got into a physical fight with what I can only assume was her mother. She had just called Liam a sweety pie too! At least if you live in Watts you can drive somewhere to escape it. In Gallup you are trapped by hundreds of miles of nothing until you hit civilization again.

As you know today was Naibe's 10th birthday. She spent the entire day complaining as usual, "I can't believe Liam is being naughty on my birthday," "I can't believe I am stuck in this car on my birthday," "I can't believe I don't have any presents to open on my birthday." She seems to forget the entire tetherball court we built for her and allowed her to open before we left on this trip. Nonetheless, I know everyone wants to feel special on their birthday so Susan and I tried to figure something out that she would enjoy. Turns out it was the pool at our Hotel in Albuquerque. Even though the wind was blowing at near gale force and it seemed like 20 below, we all got in the pool. Susan and Liam lasted about 20 minutes before they had to leave due to risk of frostbite. I decided to stay in with Naibe another 20 minutes because I knew this was her birthday wish.



Tomorrow, breakfast with Tia and free day in Albuquerque.