Entering Enemy Territory

The day has finally arrived. For many this means leaving at a pre-arranged specific time that usually allows for plenty of stress free travel. For us this means requesting that we leave at a pre-arranged specific time, but usually leaving around three hours after that. This inevitably leads to late check in times (room given away), unusual eating schedules (cranky, unmanageable kids), traveling in the dark (death defying driving- more on this later), and stressed out parents. In fact, leaving a full hour after the pre-arranged specific time is seen as a triumph and perhaps even fulfills one of the miracles needed to gain sainthood. This time I decided to try a different approach. Instead of letting my wife know when I wanted to leave, I gave her a four hour window in which she could choose any time she wanted to leave. Yes- we did leave the house at the absolute last minute within that four hour window, but it was within the window! I'm of course not counting the last minute trip to Target that set us back 30 minutes.

Even so, if an hour late puts me on the road to sainthood, 30 minutes should at least get me a really great Father's day present next year. This year Naibe gave me two beautiful handmade coupons and some rocks in a bag. I'm not saying these weren't special, I'm just saying the 30 minutes thing may be worth an upgrade. Anyways, the car is packed from floor to ceiling with everything we need for the trip. I'm not sure that girl sailing around the world had as many provisions as we do, but remember we might be giving a three year old a bath on a burro. I also spent nearly 300 bucks on a child noise suppressor, or for you non-parents a portable DVD player. You are probably thinking 300 bucks is steep for a DVD player, but when you have kids you have to think of a great many things. 26.00 for the special DVD bag that straps in between the two front seat so both rugrats get equal viewing privileges. 30.00 for two headphones, one pink, and one a mannish black, so we don't have to listen to Chipmunks movies for 6 hours. FInally, 17.00 for the extended warranty that covers the DVD player that will most likely stop working due to an excess amount of cheeto dust within its working parts.

I've done this trip before. I mentioned I'd get to the "death defying" driving- well, this is it. Several years ago I read an article in the Autoclub magazine about how nice a weekend Winter getaway to Santa Fe, New Mexico would be. Liam was about 6 months old and had diarrhea, but we thought, "what the heck!" We also decided to stop by Sedona, Arizona and Albuquerque to visit the same family that is bringing us on this trip. As the "window" method had not been developed, we left a good three hours late. We even took Liam to urgent care before taking off. It was the dead of night by the time we hit the Arizona border. A little ways later and a little altitude gained, it was still the dead of night, but there were patches of snow on the side of the road. A little further on and the night and the snow blanketed the entire I-40. We were alone and driving 15 miles per hour in the dead of night during a snow storm. Nobody, not even truckers, Ice-Road or otherwise, were stupid enough to drive through this. If you've ever been to Sedona, you know once you turn off I-40 you must follow a winding road down into a valley that sometimes involves sheer cliffs. In the dead of night, under a blanket of snow I was unaware of this. I just putted along ignorant to our near brush with death.

This time however, I was able to see Arizona during the day. It was something I was actually looking forward to. One shot of 5 Hour Energy in Barstow and I-40 here we come! This part of Arizona actually looks like Tatooine. That's a desert planet in Star Wars for those of you who aren't nerds. There are even structures that look like the moisture farm that Luke Skywalker grew up on. Once the landscape began to slowly change from desert to mountain, the drive became quite pretty. I wasn't able to experience the first time because I was urinating in my pants from fear of dying, but this time it was pleasant. The kids were great, other than the time Liam threw a tantrum because I turned off Darth Vader's Imperial March for Naibe's request of "Imma Be" by the Black Eyed Peas. The DVD did its job, as did the Cheetos.

Our first stop was Williams, Arizona and this too was a bit surprising. WIlliams has apparently been a tourist town since the 1880's when the Sante Fe train line first came through bring tourists to the Grand Canyon. Today it does the same thing. It serves as an overflow for tourists who either can't or don't want to stay in the hotels within the Grand Canyon National Park. The main drag in Williams was actually part of the old Route 66 that the I-40 made obsolete (just like that movie "Cars"). Once you get past all the cheap motels, it almost looks like an old western town. There are also a ton of tourists here. Not just local tourist like us, but international tourists. We ate dinner at a pizza joint called the Pizza Factory and a French family sat next to us. I guess they could have been French Canadian, but they didn't look like Terrence or Phillip so I assumed they were French French. I never thought people from other countries would find this stuff vacation worthy. Maybe they're just slumming it.

I actually have a whole rant about my issues spending money in Arizona, but I have already rambled for far too long. Tomorrow Grand Canyon and politics. I promise.